Let me just start by saying that customers at P&C are generally nicer than the customers I had at Quality. That doesn't mean they're all super though. For instance, today a couple came through my line and it was one of those times where they seemed much more interested in talking to each other than acknowledging me. And I really hate that. I smile and say hi and they don't even look at me. It's great. So I'm scanning all of her groceries and I get to the end and she says, "Oh, can I get the bread in paper?" I look at her slightly confused because I had already put her bread in plastic bags and she had put them in the cart. She was making no move to get them back out of the cart for me to put them in paper bags. So I was just looking at the bread, then back at her and she raises her voice and says, "Have paper bags do ya?" There was a giant stack of about 75 paper bags on my register. I should have just been like, "Nope, sorry."

Then last night, I was working until midnight (close) and at 5 to 12, I asked Porkchop (the guy who was in charge of night crew... yes, that's right, the guy in charge of the store is called Porkchop) if there were any customers left in the store. He said he didn't think so, and if there were, too bad. I hadn't seen anyone come in, so I signed off my register and took my drawer into the office. I said, "Now those poor last minute shoppers can't have their beer!" He said, "I don't feel bad for them. One time last week I made an announcement that the store was closing and instead of coming up to the register, a guy continued to push his cart toward the back of the store so I took my drawer out and put it in the safe. He came up about 5 minutes later and asked why there was no one at the register. I told him that I had made two announcements and that he could no longer make his purchases. He got really mad and said he'd never shop at P&C again. That's when I said, 'Hey, you know... payback's a bitch.'" I was just looking at Porkchop thinking, Okay, so how exactly is that payback?

So I'm at work last night and this girl and her boyfriend (I assume) came through my line. The girl was wearing a sweatshirt that said TOMMY JEANS. Fine. Then she turns to look at the candy and I see that there's a little Tommy Hilfiger symbol on the back pocket of her jeans. Okay. But as she gets her purse off her shoulder to pay, I see the strap of the purse says "I [heart] TOMMY." And I'm sure she paid a lot for it. When I was younger I never understood why my mom got so bent out of shape about corporate fashion logos, but now I see it both ways. I understand that the hip young kids want to have clothes by the cool designers, but why should that girl have to pay $140 for an outfit that is just one more walking advertisment for Mr. Hilfiger? I'm not going to start shopping exclusively at Wal-Mart (I think they've already got enough business and I don't want to add to their campaign to take over the world...), but I only have one item of clothing that blatantly advertises the store I bought it from, and I bought it because it was wicked comfortable, not because I wanted to walk around saying, "Look at me, Rex Banner, I have a new hat."

On a cheapo tabloid... Two-headed German politician debates himself... and LOSES! And there's a faked picture of a man with two heads, each wearing something that looks like it's from a Riccola commercial. I wonder how long these people who work for the National Enquirer looked for another job before they settled for tabloid work. I wonder how the children and spouses of these people feel. "Hey, Tommy, where does your daddy work again?" "Uhhh... McDonalds."

Mushrooms are SO good! This kind though, not the crazy Lewis Carrol kind. No Fly Agaric/Soma/whateveryouwanttocallit for me!

Hey, fucker. Do you know what this sign means? It means your lane ends, NOT MINE. I swear, one of these days when someone flies by me and tries to cut in on me at the last second, I'm not going to hit the brakes. I'm just going to keep going, and see what they have to say when the cops come.

My unoriginal complaint of the day: Face it people. If the posted speed limit is 45, that's how fast you should be going to keep me from killing you.

Boy, they sure are playing the %&*# out of Keep Fishin'.

Owen Butler is my new best friend.

When I say the name of the city I live in, I pronounce it rah'-ches-ter. But apparently that's wrong. Many people who are from this city pronounce it rotch'-is-ter. I don't like that. I think it sounds like Crotchester. But you know me, I'm crazy.

Just because you're deaf doesn't mean I'm invisible.

Following Dave's lead, I am posting a stupid conversation of the day:

pretty blond girl #1: I miss shopping.
pretty blond girl #2: Oh I know! I used to be a shopaholic but since I came here, I've only gone shopping like, 5 times.
pretty blond girl #1: I'm totally stressing, because I only have like, 2 pairs of pants. Well actually like 6, but you know.

I wonder if my life would be any better if I became completely naive and ditzy. Wait, no I don't.

Those left standing will make millions writing books on ways it should have been
Incubus - Warning

My apartment complex has a squirrel infestation.

Also from you take romance, I'll take jello...

"You have stuff to do? When I was your age, I was already married and pregnant. I had to clean our house every day, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner every night, wash all the dishes, and I had a full time job."

I looked at my watch. "You know, Mom, I can probably get that whole married and pregnant thing done tonight, if you want."

My parents both laughed. Then they told me to go to my room.