Look who broke down and got a comment system...

I thought about going to Lollapalooza until I found out the price of the tickets. Two tickets... $126.30. Yeah, I think I'll be passing on that.

You know who I like? Mo Rocca. He's funny.

Anatomy of a penis pill swindle... I just had to read it.

Don't walk too close
Don't breathe so soft
Don't talk so sweet
Don't sing
Don't lay oh so near
Please don't let me fall in love with you again
Please let me forget
all those sweet smiles
all of the passion
all of the peace, the heat, the pain
all those blue skies
where your words were my freedom
Please, don't let me fall in love with you again
Too many times
I've cared too much
I stood on the edge
and say that you held my hand
and knowing too well
I couldn't hide from those eyes
Please, don't let me fall in love with you again

I wish I could be part of a triumverate.

Homer: Do you think you could give me a lift home?
Ranier Wolfcastle: Sure, I'll carry you in this giant snuggly. I used it to carry Rob Schneider in the movie "My baby is an ugly man."

If you haven't seen the film "Adaptation," don't click this link. If you have, DO IT NOW.

Q. We are paying for most of our wedding, which is quite lavish, and so far most of our guests have given gifts costing around $40 per couple. My sister's husband's parents gave us a $16 gift from our registry. Is this an acceptable gift? What is the etiquette for biting our tongues?

A. Bite hard. Although people generally do give them, wedding gifts are not mandatory. Their gift isn't necessarily of normal wedding-gift caliber but calling attention to that fact would be extremely rude. You don't necessarily know what their circumstances are; maybe they simply couldn't afford something more expensive. But even if they could, just let it go and send a gracious thank-you note. And remember that the amount of money you spend on your wedding -- and the amount the majority of your guests choose to spend on gifts -- has absolutely no bearing on what kinds of gifts you are "supposed" to get.

Boo-yah, BITCH!

Some frickin tech support these places have. Brett recommended that I run a program called "Panda Anti-Virus Titanium" on my computer to check and see if I had a virus. When I ran it, it deleted the infected files, and CRIPPLED MY COMPUTER. When I restarted my computer, it told me that a file had been deleted that another file needed to run, and that it could no longer find any *.exe files because perhaps they had been typed incorrectly in the run command. So I was freaking out because I loooove my computer, and I need it to do any digital work on my photography this summer, so I wrote the tech support an email explaining what had happened. My dad was like, "Don't worry, they should write back within a couple of hours." That was Tuesday at 10am. I just got an email this morning, dated 6/4/03 5:56pm PDT. So really, it wasn't until about 9pm EDT, so it took them almost 36 hours to help me. And the email wouldn't have helped anyway, because it told me that I needed top open the Panda software and see what version it was and what file had been deleted. Um, since Panda is run by an *.exe file, just like everything else, how do you suppose I would have been able to open it? That's right, I wouldn't have been able to anyway. So boo. But Brett is a genius and was nice enough to fix my computer and re-run the software just to make sure the virus was really gone. So now my computer is okay, and all is well with the world.

P.S. Wings was fun. I love my friends.

The frickin paper that I thought was going to be great is not being great. That's how my afternoon is going.

This was a good night. A good, enjoyable night.

Thom: One of the funniest things I have ever witnessed was when I heard one asian guy call another asian guy "nigger" while I was going to school at UB.

Cherub-cheeked opera sensation Charlotte Church is trading her wings for something that will match a pitchfork.

Church told the Mail on Sunday that she thought that Jennifer Lopez was "boring". "She works out three hours a day, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and doesn't eat certain things," Church preached. "That sounds really boring. Christina [Aguilera] cheapens herself to make everybody look at her and the first thing that comes to mind is 'slag'. [Ouch!] And Britney [Spears] is gorgeous but she wears too much make-up." Meow. Did someone wake up on the wrong side of hell this morning?!

Wrong side of hell? I'm saying, "What the hell?" Just because Charlotte Church doesn't get played on MTV, that means she's not allowed to voice an opinion on these tarts? Who DOESN'T think Christina Aguilera is a whooooore? And cripes, she said Britney is "gorgeous"! If this Charlotte Church is so hellish, she sure didn't have to say that. Does every celebrity just have to walk around with a plastered-on smile saying that they absolutely love and adore everyone and everything in the world?

Oh, I'm going to lose my job just because I'm dangerously unqualified!

Don't tell me a fetus isn't a person. Abortion is homicide. Article.

Security Guard #1: "Count sheep at home."
Security Guard #2: "Why? I get paid to count them here."

We washed and waxed my car today. It looks so shiny and wonderful now that I could almost cry. Too bad there are those 2 big dents. I like it when my car looks new. I am sad though that I have had it for over 2 years, have driven it almost 64,000 miles, and it still doesn't have a name. Like Gumby. That silly, chubby car was my friend. I miss him.

I found a list of shows that have been cancelled from the fall line-up on 6 "major" networks. Some of the shows I had never heard of. Some, I completely understood why they had been cancelled. But "Futurama"? That show is great, and I'm sure there's going to be some crappy tripe on now instead of my beloved Bender and it will make me despise Fox. More.

From playful co-ed to unbelievably skanky ho... Christina Aguilera next, on "Where are they now?"

My marketing plan attracted a record number of police and fire officials, but few stayed to bowl.

To those of you who gathered at The Studio last night... Good times. I'm glad I was in attendance.

My email to Matt:
MATT.
July 3rd.
Thursday at the Square.
Gord Downie.
Free.
Wanna go?
Matt's reply:
OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to know I can bring joy to at least one person's life.