By using my "NextBlog" link, I found this blog, in which a Malaysian man is just posting TODAY that he's hearing about brand new VANILLA COKE! Haha, silly other countries, not having Vanilla Coke yet.

Whenever I feel like I'm having a bad day, I'll just remember that someone blogged this exact sentence:

Here I am - a 27 year old mother of a 3 1/2 year old, divorced once, unhappy in my second marriage, talking to another married man, and in a job I HATE!

My life's going pretty diddily-darn-doodily well compared to that. Except that *someone* promised they'd call me tonight and tell me what's up on the scene and my phone is silent. I want to watch a movie and have some fun, maybe even go crazy and eat a little popcorn. No more of this sitting around in front of my computer on Friday night.

Wrigley patents anti-impotence gum. I checked the calendar, twice, to make sure that today was April 1st. But both times, it wasn't. How can this not be a joke?

Since I couldn't justify spending $60 for the anthology we were supposed to buy for the American Lit class I'm taking, I have to find all of the stories and poems online and print them out. Just now I was looking for "Snows of Kilimanjaro" by Hemingway, and I thought I had found it. Instead, I found this. I was amused, but also a little bit enraged. Read it, Dave, and make sure you take it to heart.

Last night, Joe took me to dinner at Applebees. I got riblets, he got chicken tenders. For dessert, we were both drooling over the Apple Chimicheesecake.

Me: This is the best ever.
Joe: But what about [Ruby Tuesday's] Tallcake?
Me: This is better than Tallcake! (pause) Don't tell Tallcake I said that.

...a few minutes later, as I'm desperately trying to scrape up every last morsel with my spoon...

Joe: Are you going to lick the plate now?
Me: I would, if there weren't all these people here. If we were at home, I would have been licking it ten minutes ago.
Joe: No, if we were at home, I'd be down in the basement with a knife in my back and you'd have [cheesecake] all over your face.

Here are some parenting tips for the insanely naive.

From the archives of MLC:

God I hate the Internet. Well, actually that's not quite true. I love the Internet -- I just hate the people who come in to the library to use it. They are in general a substandard brand of human being. Yes, the library exists as the great equalizer of humanity -- offering free access to those who can not afford it home. And I agree that is a wonderful thing and support it entirely. But principles aside, I'd like the average Joe to try working in my shoes for a day with our dreaded Internet users and see how they fare.

A few weeks ago, a miracle happened. My library decided to upgrade to a new Internet management system, which meant that all our Internet systems went down for about four weeks. For four glorious weeks, we lived and breathed in a reference world sans the Internet scum. But then Monday arrived and we are back at square one. All of them are back now: Israeli Masseur, Huckleberry Flem, Crazy Curler Lady, the rest of their army. Is there no God?

(Yes, if you are mentally unstable and use the Internet at your local library, you HAVE been named by the librarians you torture.)

I was watching "Made in Canada" and they played "Tiger the Lion." If only my dad had gone through with his plans to become a Canadian citizen, maybe he could have come down to the states to visit his parents, gone hiking, met my mom, talked her into moving to Canada with him, and then I could be Canadian. (Long story short, mom and dad met in a trail hiking club.) Stupid Canadians with their funny news spoofs and tolerance for swears on network television. The two prettiest places I've ever seen are Costa Rica (1997 - West Coast, 2001 - East Coast) and The Magdalen Islands (1988).

I have removed two perma-linques and added one. Check out Male Librarian Centerfold. It's funny, because it's about a young man dealing with the (infuriatingly stupid) public.

Do you think bees have stinger envy?

Go me! I installed my new CD-R/RW drive all by myself! I had to take the old one out and put it in as secondary then put the new one in as master. I thought for sure I'd fludge it up, but I got it right the first time! Whee!

Sick, I was looking at a poll comparing "hot" celebrities, and it said that the current leader was Marg Helgenberger and I just about died. That's got to be a damn lie. You're telling me she's winning against people like Mandy Moore and Jennifer Aniston and Jeri Ryan and supermodels? On the other hand though, I found out Marg Helgenberger was in a mini-series called "When Love Kills: The Seduction of John Hearn" and I was excited. John Hearn is hilarious. But then I found out that in the mini-series, John Hearn was played by Gary Cole. Sick! And of course the mini-series was certainly referring to a John Hearn other than the one I know. I think I need to stop spending so much time on the internet.

i'm such a lazy bum. I told Joe I'd come eat lunch with him, and it's not that I don't want to, but now I have to, because he didn't take anything to eat, since I told him I'd bring a couple Whoppers. I just feel like a jerk, because all day I do nothing but sit around his house eating Sun Chips (harvest cheddar... what other kind is there?) and drinking Slice. I've applied at 5 places now, and no one has called me. Matt told me a couple of places at the mall are hiring for office work. That would be all right I guess. But I won't get my hopes up.

I'm sad. Not that I can afford my own domain name, but I looked to see if I could get www.wendolene.com. It's taken! Buuuuuuttttttttttt, when you try to go there, it says that the address cannot be found. Jerks. If I were to have registered a domain name, it would have been that one.

I'm sick of love; I wish I'd never met you
I'm sick of love; I'm trying to forget you
Bob Dylan - Love Sick

Things I found out last night at Brett's uncle's house:
1) Me thinking a party is going to be fun doesn't make it so.
2) Molasses cookies and Swedish Fish don't make good bedfellows.
3) Despite the above two items, Brett is a swell and enjoyable guy.