If you like to read long and fairly interesting paragraphs written by complete strangers, then Rob and Eric Have a Brand New Blog is the blog for you.

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and! reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Via my friend Amy

Wow. For that stupid whiny "nobody loves me" kid I posted about earlier, there are places to network! I actually found a website called How To Dress Emo. I can't believe these kids really think they're expressing their deep, personal feelings by doing whatever it is they do.

AwfulPlasticSurgery.com is a good snicker.

I couldn't figure out why I was so confused. Their names are so similar, I thought they were the same person. Someone was talking about Brooke Burke, and I was like, "The girl from Dog Eat Dog?" and they said, "Yes." No! That is Brooke Burns! While they are both hot, I think Brooke Burns is hotter.

You know, I'm just going to say this because I find it funny. I read an article about 3 ex-military officers who have come out as gay and are denouncing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

The 3 officers are two brigadier generals and a rear admiral.

This blog "Enter Nothingness" makes me think of the South Park "Conformist!" episode the other night. "Life is only pain."

I especially love the spelling. "I parish..." and "...beg for mercy in vein"

Why do some people have to be such sad-sack bleary drags?

Wow. She is freakishly, disgustingly skinny.

Note to self: Leave "messing with hair color" to twitty cosmetology students and trained professionals. Damn me and my meddling ways.

My psychotic neighbor left me a card in my mailbox addressed to "Wendy + boyfriend" apologizing for being a psychotic neighbor and asking me to come over so she can apologize in person. I feel kind of torn, like I should go talk to her, but also like I should run away.

Congratulations! You're a screaming orgasm!!


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Well, if that ain't succinct enough for you, I don't know what would be.

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WORDS WOMEN USE:

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

This is the bedding set my parents got me for Christmas. It came with a comforter, sheets, pillowcases, pillow shams, and a bedskirt. It's very pretty, and I'm going to have to buy some pillows to put inside the shams, to complete the set.

I feel so out of it today. Not sick really, but my nose is really clogged up (it's always stuffy and I sneeze a lot) and I have kind of a foggy, unconcentrated pain in my head. It's not a normal headache, because it's just kind of a dull discomfort that's not affecting a certain part of my head. It's mostly toward the front, and sometimes when I snuffle it sharpens the pain for a second, but it's not sinus pressure exactly. Either way, I don't know if I'm going to go to my class at 4. I didn't really do anything yesterday, so it's not like I'm worn out, but I just feel like I need to kind of relax and recoup, especially since I'm expected to go to the frickin Hyatt again tomorrow from 9-3. It's like working, except we're paying, not being paid. It really sucks. I hate group projects.

A full-length animated movie by Jerry Seinfeld about bees. It could be pretty funny, or really awful. Please vote with predictions.

My brother lives at a place called Pathfinder Village and this year they are selling notecards made with art done by residents. If you'd like to look at the notecard designs, they are on this page. The bottom two are by my brother.

This news article about a robbery-homicide is referring to a store that is one block from my apartment. Superb.

As required by my Advertising & Fine Art teacher, I went to a concert by the Eastman School Symphony Orchestra last night. I had never been to the Eastman School of Music, and now I am really wondering why, because the concert was really good and the concert hall itself was pretty amazing.

I thought RIT was expensive, but at an annual tuition of $19,500 (approx) it looks good compared to Eastman School's $23,500 (approx). I guess everything is relative. I wonder how much the annual tuition at the most expensive school in the United States is. I just looked up Harvard - $26,066, U. Penn - $27,998, MIT - $28,030, and Yale - $28,400.

I have to leave for class in less than half an hour and I really don't feel like it. I feel like being lazy and sitting around in my pajamas. I feel like crawling back in bed and sleeping until I feel like getting up. Stupid school.

Update: I just found this on the Yale Law site, specifically concerning the "Master of Law" program: "Tuition for 2003–04 is $33,850 for the year, including mandatory fees for health coverage, athletic facilities, and other charges. We estimate that a single student needs a total of $46,910 in order to meet education and living expenses for the academic year and that a married couple without children needs $54,910." Maybe that's why lawyers charge so much. Thousand dollar monthly student loan payments.

Wow. I got a hit for "blog john wendy photographer goo." I want to know what the frick that person was looking for.

These shot glasses are actually pretty cool. They're designed so that they have rounded bottoms and can wobble all around but won't tip over. I don't know how practical it is, but it seems like it could be a good conversation starter at a party or something. Who knows, I don't drink.

Holy nits, I'm glad this wasn't me. Winter has been so very mild here so far, and I am glad, but I'm just nervous that we're all going to be spoiled by the good weather and everyone's going to freak out when the snow really comes.

So far this winter, we've only had two days of bad driving, one where I was on the Thruway and the snow was blowing so hard that it was hard to keep my car from blowing around on the road and it was also quite hard to see. The other day, I had to drive to school in the morning and the side streets were almost completely snow-covered glare ice. That was exciting, to say the least. Probably the worst thing about the street I live on is that people are jerkweeds and park on both sides of the street sometimes, and when it's slippery driving, it can be hard to navigate. I'm sure it's not an isolated situation though.

Today is beautiful blue sky and sunny, which sucks buns because I have to be in class from 2-10. Actually, the thing that sucks the most buns is that I have class on campus from 2-4, then I'm supposed to be downtown for another class at 4:15, then I have to go back to the campus for a class from 6-10. Ick. But whatever, only 2 weeks of school til Christmas, then only 17 academic weeks to go until I graduate! YAY!

Wow. What an idiot.