fake sex scenes on soap operas = the best

Seen any good sperm whale explosions lately?

Maybe I'm just being picky, but this article that complains about poorly worded menus and restaurant signs is also poorly worded and disorganized and therefore not as funny as it could be.

Blargh... morning is just too early for me.

A girl in my senior seminar class was wearing a shirt that said "Anti-Dentite."

While it's not my hometown, Jamestown is my homecity. And apparently a bunch of it burned to the ground. Wow.

If you lie all the time, even about unimportant things, you likely have a problem that will eventually, if it hasn't already cause you real relationship, financial or legal trouble. Figuring out what is driving you to lie in the first place would help. This may mean going into treatment with a therapist to discover why you feel the need to deceive.

Should I be looking for a therapist?

Some singer named Fefe Dobson is on The Tonight Show right now. As far as I can se, she is a young, black, mediocre singer who is torn among being a punk princess, a pop starlet, and Michael Jackson in his "Bad" days. Her gestures and dancing are just horrible and embarrassing and her lyrics (or lack thereof) are just bad. Her outfit would look fine... on Gwen Stefani. The only good thing? She's a Canadian.

I like the crackerassjackhats who don't move their freaking cars to the other side of the street when they're supposed to. So on my street, half the cars are on the wrong side, meaning there's no way a plow can get through, and in some places, I imagine that even a wide SUV would have a hard time. CRACKERASSJACKHATS!!!

One of those days where I almost want to start a fight with someone.

Don't you tell me not to be hatin'. I'll be hatin' if I want to be hatin'.

I used to think that the size of the diamond on the ring didn't matter. I was happy with my .50 carat TW three stone ring. Hmmmmmm, the last couple of minutes I've been thinking that maybe that .50 carat should be upgraded to an even 1.00. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Good. You know your music. You should be able to work at Championship Vinyl with Rob, Dick, and Barry.

Do You Know Your Music? (Sorry MTV Generation I Doubt You Can Handle This One)
brought to you by Quizilla

The only thing that pisses me off about this quiz is that I took it and got this answer. Then I took it a second time and looked up the answer to every single question and I still got the same result even though I found out I had missed 5 the first time.

Up-chuck city.
Enough to feed a family of four.
And I'm not even sure I'm done.

Update: Indeed I was not. How delightful.

Super Sweet! I got a hit for "Wendy, the Wonder Squirrel."

Famed photographer Helmut Newton dead at 83 after car accident.

I like the fact that Washington D.C. getting six inches of snow made national news this morning.

73 year old man wins $57,000 in Indiana lottery, dies hours later when hit by pickup truck. Wow. How very unfortunate.

The hot new thing to steal in California? Beehives. I guess I just wouldn't think of that, but according to FOX news, it can be quite lucrative.